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“I’m making a commitment to invest into my health every day. I am worth it. I deserve the benefits of being healthy.”— Affirmation of the day.
Tonight’s dinner is a cheese and apple sampler with ice water because it’s hotter than Satan’s own asshole out here and the $4 and under cheese basket had good stuff. From the top- Irish cheddar and Pacific rose apple, aged goat cheese and ambrosia apple, young manchego and a granny Smith apple. Paired with ice water for me and Chardonnay for parents.
when I eat a block of cheese for dinner it’s a depression meal
I mean my depression is pretty awful right now too, which is the other reason I didn’t feel like cooking.
But! An Apple is something you don’t have to cook either, and if it’s safe for you to handle knives, you can cut it up and go full Ratatouille on this bitch for not much more effort. Heck, if you’ve got the budget for it, go nuts and dry some balsalmic vinegar or chutney or Hot Sauce (really, fance cheese and hot sauce is a good combo. Fance cheese, An Fruit and Hot Suace id GREAT). If you’re a meat-eating person, cured meats also don’t need to be cooked and go great with this.
Humans have been doing this “I Don’t Feel Like Cooking” kind of meal forever, and if you wanna be real fancy, you can call it a charcuterie board* and serve it at parties and impress your friends and neighbors and maybe even your mother-in-law!
Also, you will have eaten An Fruit, for which you innards will be grateful.
For me, making “Basic Chore Of Shoving Calories Into An Unwilling Vessel” into “An Art Project I Can Show To Friends” helps motivate me to actually fucking eat something really well. If that feels like too many expectations, you can also turn food into “Flavor Science Expiriment” or “Using Up Comdiments Game” or “I Actually Have A Nice Thing, So I’m Going To Eat It While Watching Netflix In My Jammies Becuase Sometimes Ya Gotta Make It A Special Occasion” or whatever the fuck else weird justification/game/context helps you put calories in your foodhole.
Or just eat your block of cheese and fuck the haters because societal expectations are dumb and you’re a good person who is worth keeping alive and you go eat that cheese.
*Some of the europeans might have standards about what actually goes on a charcuterie board, like actual charcuteries/certain types of cured meats, but this blog already subscribes to Radical Sandwich Anarchy so but whatever you damn want on your Summer Depression Food Board becuase the real important thing here is that you take care of yourself and if you can find a way to make eating fun again, that’s fucking awesome.
Add some cured meat, nuts, bread, butter, and preserves and you have a true plowman’s board. It’s essentially what man ate for thousands of years.
Trust me. That’s not a depression meal. It’s a return to instinctual comfort.
Take the advice of your local cryptid and satisfy your inner omnivore primate and eat a bunch of uncooked goodies and go have an agricultural revolution or sit around admiring the scenery like we were meant to.
I’ve been laughing at this stupid fucking video for 30 minutes
Yall sont understand this is the funniest thing ive experienced in weeks
holy fucking shit
How to put “wrote fan-fiction” on your résumé:
Leveraged an inventory of established fictional character and setting elements to generate a disruptive custom-curated narrative entertainment asset.
I worked in HR, handling applications and interviews, and if someone turned in that string of techno babble nonsense, I would have rejected them out of hand.
A resume doesn’t need to sound fancy or overly technical, it needs to tell us why we should hire you.
“Independent novelist/writer” is more than sufficient here. If you want to express the skills that fan fiction taught you, something like, “creative writing, editing, and publication,” will get you a lot further than… Whatever that just was.
A resume should be tailored to the position, if you can afford the time and energy for that. But if not, then just think about what writing got fandom taught you. How to respond to criticism, how to present a professional pubic face, how to correct punished mistakes, creative thinking, project planning, persuasion via emotional leverage, html formatting, office suite fluency.
There are a lot of actual, marketable skills that go into fan fiction.
How to put “I was in a zine” on your resume
Writer:
- Published short fiction stories for anthology collection
- Able to write short fiction within a designated word count for layout purposes (900-1500 words, 1500-2000, 3000-5000)
- Wrote short articles for independent publication
- Assisted with editing short stories for publication
- Able to reduce or expand written content based on layout needs
- Able to check for basic spelling, grammar and syntax
- Familiar with Microsoft Office and Google docs
Artist:
- Produced full-colour digital illustration for independent magazine
- Able to produce digital illustrations optimized for both online and print display
- Produced full-colour 2-page spread for art anthology
- Published 4-page short comic in anthology collection for charity
- Able to transfer traditional art to digital illustration
- Illustrated the cover (always brag if you’re on the cover) of an independent art publication
- Familiar with professional illustration tools such as Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, Clip Studio Paint and stylus tablet
Merch artist / graphic designer:
- Designed 2″ clear decorative double-sided keychain charm as bonus sale item
- Designed 5″ x 6″ sheet of graphic stickers included in art anthology
- Able to design bold graphics that are measured for laser cutting production
- Designed layouts for 65-page art and writing magazine, focusing on (art placement, text layout, etc)
- Able to keep layout design simple and in accordance with the project director’s chosen theme
- Created promotional art, icons and banners tailored for social media sites like Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, etc
- Familiar with professional layout and design software such as Adobe Illustrator and InDesign
Running a zine
- Produced an independent art and writing collection for sale / for charity
- Managed (10, 20, 30) independent artists and writers out of over 500 applicants to create a short-run independent magazine
- Worked in online sales and social media promotion selling an independent comics anthology
- If it’s really spectacular you can brag about specific numbers
- Our book raised over $4,000 for charity in under six months of production
- We sold over 750 copies in two weeks of online sales
- Produced a digital PDF and printed version of anthology, mailing to recipients all over the world
- Communicated with printers and manufacturers of plastic accessories and paper goods, assembling professional packages of our merchandise for mailing.
- Built a custom digital storefront and navigated professional market and payment systems including Paypal and Tictail / Bigcartel / Wix etc
- Created promotional events to boost sales, including raffles and giveaways over social media
- Organized participants through mass emails and use of social media posts on tumblr and twitter
- Familiar with organizational software such as Microsoft Excel, Google spreadsheets and Trello
Added some more